Marcus Wareing and Andrew in wet t-shirts, The Famous School Milk Carton Exchange called ‘Craft’ and what is this Human Rights ****cks??!

Marcus Wareing and Andrew in wet t-shirts – yes, really… Repulsive milk-cartons that schools call ‘craft’. Cleaning cars and good old-fashioned parenting; none of this human rights ****cks. They discuss the art of play dates and their upcoming date in the… garden centre. Welcome to marriage and love flourishing over compost.

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And as they always say: they love you.

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[Music] Hello, welcome, I'm Charlie and this is my husband Andrew. Hello. Our podcast Funny Family is a one-stop shop to making you feel your family is actually normal. Whatever normal may be, I cook, we parent, and we most importantly survive the school playground. Ish. Hi Andrew, how are you doing? I'm very well thinking you and you. - I think that's the way I introduce you and with that introduction of how you're doing as though we don't see each other all day every day. - And we've just been to the pub. - And we've just been to the pub. So I know you're doing very well. - Yeah. - Yeah 'cause actually some sun out. - I know. - We can say. - We can say. - We did. - I think all of it with coats on, but I got quite excited. So one of the things I'm absolutely loving on television at the moment is on Saturday Kitchen, Marcus Wearing, he's basically building small holding, you know, on this enormous amount of land, which is all rather beautiful. And it's his adventures with getting sheep and cows and ducks and so on and it's utterly brilliant because you're watching this really, you know, top-class world chef, Michelin star chef, basically trying to put a duck house in the middle of this pond. I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life. The guy who had built the duck house was very wisely on the side, shouting instructions and basically marker swearing to them. This little boat and he has to put the duck house in the middle but because it's weighted he keeps going forward. Eventually he does actually fall in and as the Saturday kitchen presenter said, "I'm sure all you women hated that because the ending shot is, I'm allowed to say but Marcus wearing wet and a t-shirt. So it just ticks all boxes really. Yeah, I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't tie the bike. We'll be recording for next week. Yeah. Yeah. No, so funny. One of the best things. But I get the going in the water. I've done that before. Right? So I did it. I was in my, I put, nominated myself to support beavers. Not that type of beaver. There's a whole other type of beaver you can talk about. - I was not expecting that. - Cubs, scouts and beavers are the younger ones. And I did it and we had a day away 'cause I had to learn to get my canoeing or rafting bit. So there's me with a load of scouts that know how to do this bloody canoeing shit. And I'm supposed to be teaching them how to do this. What happened the first minute I did it? Straight in. There I am with my all. Yes, you just pull it nicely to this idea. Straight up. - And then you lose all credit for this. - Yeah, I'm done. - Every child is just like me. - They're basically looking at me. As I have to be rescued by the person that's training me, he's going, "I'm not sure we can let him loose with this children." (upbeat music) He would keep himself in the bloody car. So, yeah, so that, but yeah, that was my experience of going in. - Yeah, no, he was in quite a week. That was, that was, and. (upbeat music) One of my favorite podcasts of all time, of all time. I think it actually probably encouraged me to do this podcast is parenting hell. Josh will just rob back it. Yes, I think it's amazing. I think I may be their number one fan, although haven't been to the stage show, but you should listen, I'm so genius. But Josh Widikam the other day posted a picture on Insta didn't he? Well, I saw it. I saw his car, right? I saw this picture with a milk bottle in the footwell and just did scrap everywhere and I'm like, that can't be theirs and then I listened to the podcast and actually, no, it was Josh's car. No, it was Josh's car. And it's horrendous. But to be fair to him, I have to just say this, he has what I could I can't even remember now, but is it like he's got like a, I don't know, three or four year old and a one and a half something is like that sort of age and that sort of gap And what point do you have the inclination, energy, anything, even find the vacuum, let's be honest, to clean up the... But even Beckett took the piss out of him. Beckett, I mean, Beckett... Even bloody Beckett. Beckett, I don't think Beckett commented. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I did look, the comments, but no. But Beckett took the piss. I mean, honestly, it looked... It was horrendous. It was horrendous. And the fact it was an empty milk car. Now, I know that we've done the same. So he admitted that the milk con wasn't the fact that he says they're chugging down behind some milk while he's on his way to the school run. This was a, we have to do the school activities and you have to bring in a milk carton from home. Now we've done the same, right? Oh, but see the difference is, is when I sent out our milk cartons, I had debt all the life out of those. Oh yeah, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, you could have put fresh milk in them and come back around. - You could put a medical sample there, nothing would have contaminated it. It was beautiful. 'Cause I was so aware that I was sending off milk into the world basically. But then what happens is they don't use your milk cartons. So I got someone else's milk cartons because they send everything back these days. That's the other thing. I don't think it's since COVID or something, but they're sort of like, no, we don't want this shit around our class. Many more will just pretend that because it might be contaminated, you could have it back. What? I don't need the shit back. Anyway, then we get these milk cartons. They go, "Oh look what we've made." And it's always-- - It's not a milk cart. - Sweet, isn't it? - They made something, right? And it's all-- - Of course it's not a milk cart. - It's just how they made it, but they've cut it. But you get it back-- - It's all the best in the max. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Take one in and take one back. (laughing) Look, I bought a blue one and then they get a green one when I go, "No, no, it's not like that." - This isn't communist. - No, no. (laughing) - I'm just... (laughing) - What's up? - I think we've got... - We're hoping at some point in this process, they do like kind of project. But my point is it comes out, and it still basically looks like the little cart, and it just might have some giant glitter in it, or whatever. But the joy is then, you've got fin and airy, stuffing these things up my nose, going, "Look, look, it's so pretty, isn't it so pretty?" And I'm just like, "Oh my god." - "Look, I made a fairy." And then you're like, "There's me, very green." - And there's me going green, and absolutely heaving. So yeah, I mean the whole recycling, oh god don't get me started on that in fact. But yes, there was a milk carton in his in his car. But I didn't get why the why aren't we getting our children to clean cars more? I did. Well I did. My dad actually had a car cleaning business when I was younger. But I would go out and clean. And I could remember on a Saturday, and I don't know how often this happened, but I have a very vivid memory of being taken in the van to Morton in March, and there was a Hugo garage. Now I don't know if anyone can remember what a Hugo is. I think it was a Russian Czechoslovakian import car, right? But there was a Hugo dealership in Morton in March. And I would get dropped off at about nine o'clock in the morning with a bucket and some car washing liquid. And a few cloths told where the tap was and say, "I'll pick you up later." And I spend the whole day cleaning cars on this fork court at about nine years old or whatever I was. And then he picked me up at the end of the day. I didn't even think I got paid for it. - No, but the thing is you didn't question it, did you? - No, I think since you had to do it. - Yeah, I mean, I think I don't, well, I've got something to boil in school. So my parents got out of some of their stuff, but I, even when I was at home, if I wanted, 'cause I lived in Saudi actually, when I was probably the age that you could, you know, wash cars without absolutely buttering them. And I would get five reels. - What's five reels in? - Oh, well, I don't know with inflation, I don't know, but I used to tell somebody. - What could you buy with it? What could you buy with five reels? - Not much, but there was a five and 10 reels store. So a bit like we have poundlands. - Yeah. - So I would say five reels back then was probably like a pound 50. - Oh, I guess, so not like a penny chew, you could get two or three sweets right? - No, no, no, no, no. - What I would do is I'd go into the Saudi massive market and there's loads of shops, it's called Cobra. And I'd go to the, basically, what was a black market shop selling tapes, which, you know, some poor guy has just been like recording this stuff, and you can almost hear them pressing it. - Chick-lips. - Hey, I got Whitney Houston on the cheek. I got George Michael. - Wow, if you just tuned in now, have you heard me say that? You're going, she's done well. I've got George Michael on the cheek, Prince definitely on the cheek. Oh, Mariah Carey. - And this is all pre the whole streaming thing that happened, right? Were the whole... - Yes, but don't forget, we're talking about Saudi Arabia. We're not talking about the normal streaming service. It doesn't happen in these countries like it does here. So you have to, yeah. but an amazing thing, really fantastic. And then they would also come in these, so you know, we have the plastic, 'cause, you know, the tapes, yeah. - Well, the tapes, but the thing you put it in, would you call it the holder, whatever. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Anyway, in Saudi, because it was so hot, they had to make it so that it wouldn't melt if it sat in your car. So these things were genuinely still plastic, but of a plastic that wouldn't melt if it sat in your car. - Did the tape actually survive? - I can't imagine a tape. - Yeah, of course it was in the pouch, you think? - Right, okay. - Wow. - Yeah, so I used to get five or three hours per car. And I think the funniest thing about all of this, though, is what I've realized in this country, is when your kids are young, you haven't got the time or energy, like I was saying, to actually clean your car. And then you try and get your children as they get older to clean cars, and to do anything, really. And oh my, it's so hard. - It's hard. I think the only thing they like doing is I have a pressure washer. So a car should pressure washer, right? And the only thing they're like doing is basically-- - There are the brands of it. - There are the brands of it. But basically I said nice, and I get out there, and you could, they basically end up pressure washing in each other. And then you leave them to pressure wash the car and to wash the car. No, they pressure wash the car, then they pressure wash each other, then they go down the street, shooting people as they walk past the street. I mean, it's not-- - Yeah. - Your car is not clean at the end of it. - So a simple, really innocent old couple walked down the street and suddenly my son's there with this car, to wash her just by looking like he's about to fire at them. The other thing they like to do, and this really pisses me off, 'cause I think excellent, I finally got them doing something, they're cleaning the car, and I come out and I essentially the other day, I said, "What is all that shit all over the floor?" And you went, "Well, they like to fire the car, to wash up the exhaust pipe." - Yeah. Then what happens is you get all this sweaty oily crap. Yeah, you start the exhaust and all the shit comes out on the thing. Of course. Yeah, so everything is so much harder than it should be. I think Kevin and I think Harry Enfield did it best. He did a Kevin and Perry sketch where Kevin was told to clean the car. I think it took a whole weekend. He was sleeping in the car. You have to watch it was fantastic. But that is. It's just so fucking hard to get them. How could anything take so long and I bleat on like a broken record in which I'm going Well, if you do it fast, it will be done and they look at me like you're a right man. Yeah, whatever Yeah, I've heard that before and I'm like wow you really have no sense of time But you've been you've started something recently. I have I have started before and I think it's come back in well It's come back in basically because it's been half term and I've got fucked off That's why it's back and it's back with Avengers And that is just getting them to clean bathrooms. Yes. Because it's really not hard. Well, the people don't get it really is. But I keep the house generally quite clean. Oh, no, very, very, yes. And so really to clean these bathrooms, it's not a massive deal. Now when I first announced this, this half term, you would think honestly that Putin had just announced another invasion. Ah, the drama, I mean you probably heard us across the world, was extraordinary. I was pointing out, no, you literally just have to put some water on the cloth with a bit of this and wipe down the surfaces and stuff. No, it was, it was, apparently it was way bigger than that. And so two hours later, we had one clean bathroom. Just wow, yes. Yes. Yes. One clean bathroom. Yes. And I'm like, well, there's two hours of my day gone. Yeah. Because I have to look over everything. Well, you, but the problem with getting them to do it, it's not a case of going, can you go and do this? Same with homework, right? but you can't just go, "Can you go and do this?" No, you have to keep going, "Man, well, have you done that bit?" Have you done that bit? There's no initiative. - There's no initiative. But the best thing is, you go into the room, you go, "Have you done this bit?" And they're like picking their toenails away from them, they go, "Done what?" Well, the homework I just told you to crack on with, oh, no, I haven't thought about that. Well, what have you been doing? I've been basically looking at my navel. Well, that's gonna help you in life, isn't it? And we have these conversations endlessly, don't we? In this house. Well, I think it's cause, I mean, the current one on the homework is, so we get to the end of half term. Now, we only found out, 'cause our youngest didn't tell us that they had homework to do. Admittedly, we didn't go and look at the, like, I think this is-- No, I know. But there is a bitter blame here. People are gonna go, yes, but they're only eight. You should be looking in their face. Yeah, but I, responsibility. Come on, I was washing cars in bloody morning, marching eight years old. I was-- You always be afraid of never choice. - No, no, yeah. - Maybe I was taking that, maybe I was not, anyway. But you will go wash these cars, yeah. But there's an element of take responsibility. You were told at school you had homework. So come back and say I've got homework, which is an eight, we can forgive them, just. - Yes, Andrew makes himself sound like a saint. I imagine if I spoke to his family, he wasn't a saint at eight. - I think I was really good. - I don't think, I don't, I don't, oh, yeah, right. - It's not good now, and he's, oh no, you're sorry, you're still 21, aren't you? - Yeah, yeah. - That's right, in our family, we're both still 21. - Yes, we don't go beyond that. - The 40 and the 50 never came into this house. - No, no, we've never reached that age, it doesn't happen. - No, so at age, yes, I agree, and I think it's a lot to ask, actually, because you want to get out to school and just enjoy yourself. But then of course, I went to boarding schools, so I don't really know what a joy yourself is. I look at the amount of freedom I think they have and think this is epic. They're like, oh my god my human rights have been completely destroyed Rodgers today, right? Yes, but he's a bit older. He's older right so he's a second school Right, he's got homework to do they get the satchel app that gives them their homework and you're supposed to look at now The problem they've got is that they look at it going what homework have I got to hand in tomorrow? Now, two weeks ago, we looked and said, "Oh, look, there's some homework that you need to do." And it's called an assessment. In a few weeks' time, you're going to be assessed on your languages. You read the description, "Thou must read and revise and revise and revise ready for the test." He reads as long as I've done it the day before. So I go in there one week as gone of holiday. So this is 10 days, nothing. done absolutely nothing. - It's not nothing. - Absolutely nothing. So I lose my shit. - He did, yeah, I should have lost my shit. - I probably lost my shit. But it's in secondary school. I can't be spoon feeding children when they're in secondary. You've got to take responsibility at some point. So I lost my shit. He's now doing his revision. He didn't give a shit about the fact he hadn't done it, which is the worst thing for me, right? So we've had words. He's now in doing his homework. - Right. To be fair though, to children, I will say that quite often there's a frustration there because you do feel like you've just want the freedom to be a kid. I'm saying this as though I'm really charitable 'cause I can be awful, but I do, I see both sides of it, but then I see the parent side where you're trying then to get your child's just to do anything. Come on, make it look like I'm an okay parent. And it becomes more about you than then because you want to look like you've done something constructive. - Yes. - It's really hard balancing game, isn't it? - Yeah, but I refuse and as you do, I refuse to do the homework for them. - Oh yeah. - Right? I refuse to do that. - Oh, my God, you're not my only. - Yeah, yeah, I've got enough shit to do. But I'm sure as a child, I was a complete pain in the fucking ass and I was absolutely not mad. - I'm sure this is how I did really well at school. - He didn't. - I did really, really well. I don't know how well you did but we did laugh this afternoon because in the pub I was I don't know why I suddenly turned into Ted talks Ted talks If we had a deal I would have been out of nowhere I was I don't know I don't know why explaining Human geography to our eldest and I couldn't stop it's almost like my a level sort of took its lid off itself And everything I should have done in my a level came out well, well everyone looked very bored but I was like no I'm on a roll I'm gonna make the most of this. I have done this in the time that I was meant to have done it So I got a DNA level geography. What did you get? I got a U it was unclassified Unclassified. Okay, so suddenly I feel like I've come into my own. I feel I feel like I am the jogifer in the family So I'm running with dance and if you need to know anything about the roads being paid with gold or population density I am your woman and I am taking bookings now. Don't talk to me. I've got a you in that one. You've been a teacher, right? You've taught before. I have taught. I've taught in the language. But just that approach to asking the question, I mean I get so frustrated. As a parent, right? So I sit there. I can't. If the bit I find really hard is, I'm saying you can't understand that why the fuck can't you understand it right whether they're eight or twelve or whatever it is I can understand it you should understand it so I basically just say loudly and firmly I think it's like I'm an Englishman abroad trying to speak foreign language right So that I think that's the thing with my teaching is with the children they get really frustrated with me So Andrew goes down the route of like how come you don't get this you know, Newton got it. Why don't you? So he's down that road. Whereas I'm like, I think it's also my English lit side and my writing of books. But for example, today our youngest, she wrote a sentence which made no sense. There was no context, right? So I find myself going, "Well, what are you talking about? What are the extensions?" and she looked at me like you're an absolute twat and how do you not know what extensions I'm talking about and what I was trying to explain to her is that actually you have to imagine the readers coming in having never seen any of this stuff and does it make sense she got quite upset with that but I I kind of think the point got across but we did actually get to the point was just like actually do not want to just delete that and just put something else in. So the extensions were, it was vague, right? You got hair extensions, you got house extensions, you got, oh yeah no sorry yeah the extension I thought the extension was some linguistic terminology, no the extensions were, they refused to the extensions, sorry I'm losing the plot. No no no it was, but because you'd done it and she'd read, so we did found the website and they'd read about history, so they were copying, so basically she copied off the the web, right? Yeah. That's what you do. That's what you do in primary school now. It's what you're doing secondary school. It's what you're doing in university. So, it's copied off the web. Yeah. Yeah. And so basically, she had written down the count of the extensions and I had no idea what it meant. And then we read it and when this is really quite complicated, it was about some, anyway, it was really complicated. So, we basically crossed it out, just right they had a market in 1834. So we've just had half term so there's been a few play dates. I think one day in particular this week because obviously you've been working conveniently. I'm very busy. I say that and I don't think it's convenient. He had no time off. Well let me assure you folks I had no time off either. No no no. I was babysitter number one. Yeah I didn't book any time off this half term and yes I was quite busy but what did you promise me this is how exciting our lives are now that when the children are back at school you're gonna take a half day off so we can go to the garden centre yes to the garden centre because I mean romance flourishes over from last love is in the air oh god okay she made don't take that - I don't know half day. (laughing) - Good Lord. No one needs that. Anyway, so it's up. (laughing) - Why not? - Why not? - If you start doing any swoots, you will start. - I'm just nervous for like, "Oh, he's right, we're done." But I know, I probably need that. So, play dates, yes, we've had, we've had a few play dates, haven't we? And there was one day this week where I took on more than I think I should have. It's, no, how it started is this really delightful boy. the middle child's best friend comes over quite a lot actually doesn't he? He comes over for supper Play dates just hangs around really and he's so delightful Dare I say I'm just like you can just you can just hang he's just so nice. He's so he's easy to talk to But what I find is he talks too Charlie or you as an adult he'll have a conversation Which is which is fair? Right doesn't it's a little white polite talks and has a conversation with see recognizes your your an adult and Yeah, and how's that coming to you? Which is amazing. Isn't absolutely lovely. Yeah, it's an absolute, like, huge credit to his mum. Yeah. So then this very day, we had him here already. Fine, we've organised that. That's a beautiful thing. And then, by the end of the day, how many other kids did I have in the house that aren't mine? I think there were six. Six. Now, I already have three. The maths, please. How many children are now in the house? Six plus three. That's nine. - No, I did a level mass of fail. We've got a U and that as well. (laughing) I didn't get a U in there. But I will give my rationale now. I'm okay at mass. I did really well before I moved to mid-wells and moved into a pub. When I moved to mid-wells, half way through my DCSEs and I'll blame my parents for this, till the day I die, I moved into a pub and basically from that age, in Wales you could drink from the age of 12, I believe. - Who told you? - No, not legally, but you could drink if I'm the age of 12 and well. - Oh, so he does this to me, but everything. - I lived in a pub. My best mate lived in an awful lot. So we basically did our university drinking while we were doing our agency and A levels. That's where we were, right? But we were very good at it, I would admit. (upbeat music) - So by the end of this day, with how many children we're gonna say they get? - Six children. - Six children plus three, nine, nine until. - So you had a lot of meetings. - You had a lot of meetings. - Yes. - Yeah, a lot of meetings. And I was going to my studio, which is where we are now, and I would message him because that's how, much I felt like I didn't want to be in my own house. So I'd best and go, how are they doing? Has anyone killed each other? And you'd be like, I don't know, I'm in my office. I can't help it. - I'm on a call, I don't know. Leave me alone. - So when you finally came out of your meetings, What did I look like? - I could be polite. I could not be polite. - Give me your honest answer. - You were like, what the actual fuck has happened, right? This is like the war and-- - W-T-A-A. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the actual-- - The most extraordinary thing is by the end of the day, first little boy we talked about, still delightful as ever, then I've got girls in here. I've got every sort of person, age, sex, whatever, in this house and they start questioning what I'm doing. So I come in, I'm trembling anyway, I'm like, oh my god, I've let too many of them in. And I put on my music, I put my music on the garden's room speaker. So I like, when I like a beat, I like it to be loud and really out there. - And how's a sort of open plan, right? - When we put the music on, you can hear it in that. It's not like restricted to one room. When we put music on, it's in the house. When the kids put it on, it's in their room, right? So it's ours. - So my point is you will listen to the spinners or whatever. But it wasn't even that loud. And then I had a child say to me, oh my god, what is that? By the way, this child is about six. Oh my god, what is that? And I said music. And they, I mean, they haven't heard me sing if they don't know what that is. I was like music and, oh, well why have you done that? 'Cause I'm in my house. Anyway, I actually lost my shit, didn't I? - You did. and I actually had to text you in your meeting and go, "I've just lost my shit. "It's probably best someone goes home." - Yes. - "Probably me, mommy! "I can't do this parenting stuff anymore." It was a bit of an iron. So what I have learned is play dates are fine, but you need to reign in the numbers. - Right. - You can't have every single child having their play date in a vertical mess in the house. - In the house at the same time. And I think even Beckett covered this on his previous one. - Oh, to do. - He covered it where the fact that you have one child as a guest is fine. You say, yeah, the guest is here and you can cope with it. You get two children or external, or they're there. You can't deal with it. The rules go out the window, right? This is how do you deal with this? - Well, all of these things come from houses where their rules are very different. So then you bring all these household rules in and one child thinks that's fine. Another child thinks, no, I can't do that and blah, blah, blah. And it goes on and on and on and the whole thing escalates and basically by the end of the evening, I'm sat in the corner rocking with a bottle of wine. - With you, right? - Which I genuinely wanted. - Yes, yeah. - That was a really stressful day. So note yourself, one play date, I think you can just vote for it. - So from a parenting, but I think there are some people, I'm just, I'm quite happy to have hundreds of children in their house running around and taking over the house, and we are not that. - Right. Some people just take, just have loads of people and they basically give over their lives to the children and we are definitely not there. Great, be there, you know, but it's our house, right? - Yeah, although that does make me sound really stingy. I've made efficient chips lunch for them. Well, this is when the one little boy was around. And I definitely like hang around with them all. It's just that what I don't appreciate and I probably a bit, maybe this is a generational thing, but I don't appreciate is back chat. - I think it's important to go. No, or it's not a generation upbringing, 'cause I-- - I mean, it may be important to go. - It's important to go lower in upbringing, but I don't know, no, no, no, no, no. But my point is this, oh, now God, we turn this like Laura Kuhnsberg territory, it's not very serious and heated. No, but what I don't appreciate is you are under my roof. That's how I see it, right? - Yep, they're agreed. - And I would expect the same from us from our three when they go to other people's houses. - Yes. - Now if anyone wants to write into me now and say they, well, they don't actually behave that impeccably, please tell me 'cause I prefer to know. - No, I agree, yeah. - And they would have a strong talking to you. - And I would say, oh, the standards we have in our house now are higher than they used to be. If I'm honest, right? I'd say they either are the use of me. - And I don't know, and that's an upbringing thing or a, whatever. - Do you mean it's as if I've come into that? - Yes, yeah, absolutely. - Yeah, you've been putting it in a nice way, but yeah. - I think you're definitely-- - What are you trying to get? - I don't put up with any shit. - No, you don't, with the dog, all the children or husbands or-- - No, definitely not husbands. But, no, I just think like we have to all respect each other. I respect you guys, you respect me. - Yeah, no, I agree. - Said, "Putin'. Okay, right. Oh, God, the joys of half turn. The other thing I've been doing this week, although it turns out not everyone's understanding it, is art, which I've been doing for a while, have I? - No, I think it's fun. - I've got lots of different art pieces that I'm selling on my Etsy shop. - But science? - But this is creativity, right? So you're an author, but this is your thing, right? Being creative, right? - I love it. - And now we've got the studio, I like a look around. You've got the oil colors and the water colors and the paints and the easel and everything, right? So this is a bit about going and being creative, whether it's doing a podcast, writing, painting. - And they all kind of come, they sort of connect with one another, don't they? That's the thing I love about it. It's like, it doesn't matter if one day I'm doing a painting and putting that on my shop website, on Etsy, or writing and it's out there for half a Collins, whatever, it's amazing how one feeds into the other. - It's the same thing, right? Well, you're basically, I'm creative, but you're putting yourself out there. - If anyone is vaguely interested in my art, How was you describing my style? - Well, you described it, I didn't necessarily, but it's definitely the other end of realists, so it's not realists, it's not, as I would draw, it's got to look exactly like it was. But I think Picasso is where you're lean towards, that Picasso style, just the simple, the abstract, the colors, that's really where you work. - So I sell on Etsy under Charlie Marcus Art, In fact, I've just set up a new shop site. I had an old one and that did really well. So I've set up a new one because I wanted a new look and a new feel and this is a very much a modern feel. I've sold, amazingly I've sold a few pieces haven't I and it's done, they've done quite well. So yeah, really chuffed with that. So I'm under Charlie Marcus Art but the funniest thing this week has got to be me trying to do a Picasso style hair. The reason this came about is 'cause my mum's birthdays today, happy birthday, my absolute year, do you. I thought, well, what can I give her? I mean, it's back to being like five. Oh, I know, they'd love a bit of my artwork, wouldn't they? Every parent doesn't matter if they're 41, or like, you know, thank off, they're just like, oh no, oh my god, not another piece of-- - Fucking milk bottle. (laughter) - Ugh, it's so cute. - Yeah, yeah. - It's like another fucking milk bottle. Anyway, so then, I'm texting my dad throughout the week and I'm going, well, I've done this. He's like, oh, I'm not sure, I'm not sure, oh my god. So then I know she loves things like country scenes types. So I thought, I'll do a modern hair. But anyone who knows Picasso, it tends to be one line, which I'm hoping he's practiced a lot and I've just done that from the off, 'cause that's phenomenal. One line, you just keep going and you're basically bringing out the main features of the thing that you're talking about. So I was practicing in the back of my diary, wasn't I? You joined in as well, you joined in as well? And we had a few hairs in there. Well, I wouldn't call them that. No one will know what they are because it just looks like... - It's really fun to be in it. - It looks like someone who should be essentially locked up. But what was brilliant as I said to Andrew go on you do yours because he's actually he's annoyingly good at this as well So I told you good at everything and I said go on do you do your Picasso hair? I've never laughed so much in my life. Yeah, the first one I was unbelievable it looked like Japanese art. You know the cartoon art. What do you call that? It's not tamagotchi's manga tamagotchi's no, that's a whole other thing but like totally demonic. - Yeah. - It was extraordinary. And then quite a few of mine was looking like sort of like, you know, when a sheep has, you're looking at me like, oh God. You know, sheep's fur, and it's been rolling around, or doing a poo and it gets stuck and it's fur. - Yeah, I'm aware. - Yeah, that's what my pub poop was. (laughing) - So sketched, look at that. - The back end of a sheep full of shit. - Yeah, back to the small holding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I've seen that. Yes. Don't ask where, but yeah. We've all seen that. Yeah, yeah. In fact, we went from all today with my children. And our youngest, she has this white, fleecy thing, just getting consistently more sheep-like, isn't it? And it's sort of feel and nature and everything. And she must have rubbed up against something. Anyway, she genuinely, from the back end, she looked like a sheep who had done a, you know, it got stuck in there, bit of grass as well with leggings. Extraordinary. Never seen a sight like that. I wasn't quite sure for a second. I was like, "Oh, there's a sheep out on the road." Oh no, that's on daughter. Yeah. So anyway, we had to demolique the Picasso and then I gave up on the hair. I gave up too much for me, too much for my little brain. And I decided, when I said this to my family, you have to, you have to entitled "Your Paintings With Something Serious". Otherwise, I mean, if I just said to you, oh, this is just a drunk sketch. I did it at 11 at night while I had a few beers. Less effective, right? If I just go "Equus", you're thinking she's a bit... You're thinking professional, aren't you? Yeah, I know. So it was called "Equus". And it is actually up in a house now. So I, yeah, I do sell my art, I try to sell my art. I think it's fat, I think I love it. Thank you and I also, I've painted a lot of flowers and fruit and that sort of scene as well don't I? But all impressionistic. Yeah, so that's um, that's... And so we're just going to go on a final thing. By the way, if you can hear something, it's not my knees clicking, it's the chair. This chair has some serious more DIY going up more yeah, yeah, that's I think that's what I'm hitting out actually it's like can you hear that I'm just gonna do it again It's a bit like when you've Farted and then someone says on like oh come on that walls you and you go no well and then they're like I think you know you is that thing of You know when you're trying to prove that it wasn't me it was a yeah yeah yeah you move back It's what I'm trying to say I'm getting there. And listen, I'll try and do it again. I told you. It didn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lean back down. There is some weirds got up there, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, anyway. There you go. Hey! Okay. Shit, I got DIYs to do. He's got so much. He doesn't even realise it. I said my list is empty though. Your list is empty, minus full. I just haven't sent it over yet. - Okay. - You see how that works? - Yeah. - I thought give you a weekend off, which wasn't really a weekend off 'cause we had a party yesterday, so therefore we were both running around like loons. - Yeah. - But don't you worry next weekend. - Next weekend, we got a talk. - I got a few things there. No, the rugby yesterday, anything you want to say, I know people will be watching, but we both watched. - It was hard, I mean if you're Welsh, desperate, right? English, it yes. - Could it be better? - Much better, right? - Like my school reports could be better. - Could be better, yeah, yeah. I think if we compare our results, right? I think I was a bit more, you were well as a bit more me with two U's and I think you were a bit more U, right? Could you better, right? - It's much, quite shit. - Yeah, but yeah, could do better, right? Yeah, with a little cup of this, you know. - Oh, that's a hard watch. There's six, all of these things are such hard watches. what I will say, this is my final note to everybody. If you need to feel uplifted, there's two things that you need to do other than have a glass of wine. And if you don't drink, have a glass of non-alcoholic wine. The two things you need to do, go and watch some Andy Murray footage of late. That man, I swear to God, I like for such a boring man as well. And I don't think he'd mind me saying that because he acknowledges himself. He has dug so deep. I don't know where he has found this fighting spirit. Post children as well. - Yeah. I know, and the fact that he's a man and a had children is impressive. (laughing) - Oh, how he's such a witt. (laughing) Yes, admittedly he did fuck all in it and where has he been. - No, he did that first bit, but not the rest. - Oh, oh! (laughing) - Oh he's so fire! - Could it be true though, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Andy Murray has just something - No, I'd like, yeah. - And it's kind of like he's listening to the UK gone, I think they need something positive. - Yeah, we just got to-- - Here's the cream tea of tennis. You're gonna have that, have it on me. So that's a beautiful thing. But I tell you, I'm gonna end on this note. If you don't want to watch Andy Murray and I don't blame you for that either, go to TikTok. (laughing) and watch the llamas that go flying over this little... - What the fuck? - Go flying over this little... Oh, I don't even know what it is. It's through a fence. And the thing is at the end, it says, oh, there's always one at the end to us to show off. And if you actually wait to the end, this llama at the end is fucking brilliant. And I will say this, folks, you need to lead the rest of this week like that alarm. He is my fucking hero. And on that note, I love you and I love you all. Love you all. Love you. Bye. [Music]