Like many families they headed out on an Easter break where they lost an egg, found out that kids really don't need anything but some mounds of dirt, Bob continues to hate the Halty and Andrew fails to deliver on a day out!
They (ok, Andrew) becomes all preachy over iPads at the dinner table and Charlie instils a level of discipline that all kids need..."it's for their own good!" along with a few other essential parenting tips every parent needs... as well as husbands :)
If you enjoyed the podcast check out their other episodes https://funnyfamily.buzzsprout.com/
Follow them and engage on Instagram, email andrew@funnyfamily.com or charlie@funnyfamily.com
And as they always say: they love you.
Like many families they headed out on an Easter break where they lost an egg, found out that kids really don't need anything but some mounds of dirt, Bob continues to hate the Halty and Andrew fails to deliver on a day out!
They (ok, Andrew) becomes all preachy over iPads at the dinner table and Charlie instils a level of discipline that all kids need..."it's for their own good!" along with a few other essential parenting tips every parent needs... as well as husbands :)
If you enjoyed the podcast check out their other episodes https://funnyfamily.buzzsprout.com/
Follow them and engage on Instagram, email andrew@funnyfamily.com or charlie@funnyfamily.com
And as they always say: they love you.
[Music] Hello, welcome, I'm Charlie and this is my husband Andrew. Hello. Our podcast Funny Family is a one-stop shop to making you feel your family is actually normal. Whatever normal may be, I cook, we parent, and we most importantly survive the school playground. Ish. Hello, Andrew. How are you? Well, well you know how I am. We always ask that. We do live together. No, I'm good. I did just break down and fix a giggles because a man, I think, is through the local elections, has just tried to do something through the front door and you thought it would be fun to stand there and put your hand through at the same time. No, I didn't actually put my hand in. It was just, you know, when you go to the door and you can do a rattle and then persons behind said window and they've got their hand trying to poke them there to through. I'm telling you, you will not be countering - We're running here again. (laughing) Well, we've just come back from Holly Bob's, haven't we? - We have, yes. - We have, so we've been hashtag making memories, hashtag having fun, hashtag shitting hell. It's been, it's known, it was a good laugh on the whole, wasn't it? - It was now, I really enjoyed it. - Yeah, no, well, we've just got with lots of things about ourselves and the countryside and our marriage. No, it's good. What's the thing that stood out for you? (laughing) We had this question, didn't we, about what stood out when we came back? - Who did? - I can give you my answer. Yeah, the thing that stood out for me was the trip to the beach in the rain. No, no, so the trip, yes, it was. So Monday morning, I asked, don't you deliver the story because you'll just give the rubbish. You know the false information. - I'll pick it up, I'll pick it up. Yeah. - No, Monday morning, so this good Monday, Do they call it good Monday? Easter Monday. Easter Monday. Only Friday is good. Only Friday is good, yeah. Friday is a good, every other dish. I'm Jesus' out by now. Good luck if you're not. Send us a WhatsApp. I didn't see him. Didn't see him, no, didn't see him. We saw statues of him, lots of them. We did the ironworks, yeah. The ironworks, yeah. Anyway, just whaffling on, man. We'll go back to that. Yes, we'll go back to the ironworks. So yes, Monday, well, it was rainy a bit where we were. And then Andrew looks at the forecast where we are about to go and says, I think we should go to the beach and I think, well, that'd be nice. And you know, even if it's not fully sunny, we can get a bit of fresh air, whatever. And we're driving up north Wales, essentially. Well, I can tell you it doesn't get sunnier, it gets worse. And by the time we arrived there and he'd already said to the kids, this is going to be a great surprise, kids. We have to keep them interested. Yeah. And we did it because we'd had a really good up to that point. this is like the last day of the holiday and the weather was going to be a bit crap and I thought we'll do something. Yes but what we did is then we arrived there. I mean I didn't know it was such a shit hole anyway. I thought if the beach, if there's a beach I figure it's going to look quite attractive. It turns out a beach and the place we were in which I'm not going to name can be a bit shitty. I imagine on a sunny day I can see that there would be some benefit going there. I can't see much if I'm honest, but to those who live there, well done you. But anyway, we arrived and it was absolutely pissing it down. And I mean, torrential, like in the Land Rover. I had the dog by my feet. His lead was completely soaking. And then when I got out the car, I looked down at the bottom of my jeans and they were completely soaking. So I thought my first thought, of course, is Bob's pissed on my jeans. No, it's Andrew's car is leaking and it's raining so much that I'm basically sitting in water. I have a Land Rover Defender, an old one, not one of these modern postings. Sorry, it's an old one. Yeah, you could never claim this to be more. But it's fab, but it's agricultural and it's not sealed. Why is it fab? I'm just going to be controversial. Why is it fab? I think because we don't give a shit and we just chuck stuff in there. We go on, we go on the beach. We clearly don't give a shit about you. - Why? 'Cause she went to the beach swimming all the way. (laughing) - No, you can sort of mop it out. I mean, it's like-- - It literally does. Just mop it out and go, there you go. And you're like, "I'm like, in your truck, Charlie." (laughing) Brilliant. - No, it has appeal. - I don't know, but they all these Land Rover people, and there'll be people listening now going, "Yeah, that's me, don't you put a Land Rover down?" Now, I'm not putting them down, but they do all wave to each other. It's hysterical. Only they don't wave if they're actually agricultural, And that's genius. They're actually doing shit with the vehicle, opposed to just ponsing it out. So I do all wave to everybody because he's quite needy like everyone. No, not everyone. Everyone in a Land Rover Defender. Well, I beg to do it. It depends if you've taken your pills or not darling. We know. No, but yes true. Everyone in Land Rover Defender and we get mixed response and sometimes you're a bit missed when basically a farmer, he couldn't look more farmer like in his flat cap and stuff with sheep on the back, it doesn't weigh back and Andrew's like, "Oh I don't think they like me." I think they know why you're in that vehicle Andrew, it is not for the same reason as them. So anyway we arrive at this place, I will not name in North Wales, which I'm sure is absolutely... It's along the cut, it's an... No, I don't know what I'm supposed to say for it. but north Wales you've got Prostate, I think, and real, and these are traditional coastal places, right? - Andrew is utterly genius, honestly, for someone who's so bright, I'm not naming it, but you've got Prostate in or real. (laughing) - And long ago, it wasn't where we were, they were a further along the coast. We didn't get to those places, but it was, - Yes, well, it was on route, I know. And then the kids are like, is this it? And so I'm now just taking their Easter chocolate and stuffing it in their mouths like, "No, don't worry, just get the sugar high instead." So then, now this is the best bit folks. Then he goes, "Oh, I said to Andrew, "I tell you what, you're gonna have to pull something "out of the bag now 'cause I'm in a right place. "The kids are, they're on a sugar high, "but that can only last so long, right?" Even the dog is looking out the window going shit. And then I said, "So you're gonna pull something?" And he went, "I don't know what, we're gonna go to Demby." Oh right, you know, like Demby as in the pottery. And he said yeah, yeah, Demby, that Demby. I thought okay, although something in the back of my mind went, I'm not sure about that, but all right, let's go with it. I thought it's gotta be better than this, right? And it's a pissing down day. And it actually cleared up as we went. No, don't, I haven't finished yet. I said I was gonna talk about this on the podcast. (laughing) And anyway, we're driving along. There's something in my mind, even before we'd actually got to Demby thought, is this really pottery Demby, or has he made this up? And no, go on, you desperate to talk, go on. - No, no, I always thought that Demby in North Wales, Dembyshire is where they made Demby. Apparently they don't. - No, but then I ask him this question. So we arrive in this, is it a town? - A town? - Oh really? Okay, we arrived in this place, it's called a town, and it has really some lovely quaintness to it, put it like that. And I said, I looked at the sign, I never went, but Demby's not spelled like that. This is D-E-N-B-E-I-G-H, I think it was. - Oh, I do, I do. - I do, or something. And you went, no. And I went, well, how is the pottery spot? And you went, D-E-N-B-Y. And I'm like, so why would they switch? The sign at the front of the town and then produced pottery with a Y. And then something in my head was like, "Oh my God, "Demby's in bloody North England. "It was not Wart North Wales at all." - No, apparently not. - No, so then I got out the car, again soaking wet. This time up to my knees wet. - But I did take us to a castle. There is a very nice castle in Dembby. - Could you define nice? - Well, it was a castle, well by Richard somebody. But no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - I'm sorry, we were nervous. - We were nervous. I was in North Wales and it was pissing down my reign. And we could have gone back to Chester, but we just passed the longest traffic jam. - And who would wanna do that Chester, full of shops and celebs? (laughs) No way. - But there was lots traffic. And I thought we wanna avoid the traffic. Let's just head south, we'll go down, and I looked at my map and went, Demby. and I thought, okay, well fine, I'll go see some famous denby pottery. No, what I saw was apparently a famous castle, but it was, you know, when Jussins have just got involved and basically heaved a few rocks in and they go, this was once a castle and how would you actually know? I don't think you would know, but the best thing is this is in the back of nowhere, back end of nowhere, isn't it? And you're like, well, let's look around the castle and I can see from the outside what it's about in it's just as I say a few stones. So I just said, oh well, okay, let's see how much it costs. And it costs 16 pound 50 for a family to go in and look at some rubble. I was like, wow, so by this time I'm out, like literally outside the castle going to Andrew, now you've got to pull something really good out the bag. (laughing) - I failed. (laughing) - So yes, sadly. - Yeah, so I think, yeah, no to self. Back holiday Monday, don't go to the beach if it's pissing down and Demby is in North England. So the other thing we did was we went over an aqueduct. Oh, sorry, when I say we went over, we walked over one of the biggest aqueducts in the world, I think. And I can't pronounce it. Built by Thomas Telford. Yeah, because I'm not Telford, yeah. And I can't remember what it's called. Look at Telford. Conch faith or something. Conch faith. He's been doing a lot of this. I've been playing off, playing on things, yeah. And I'm like, what are you actually doing? It's like I'm trying to speak Welsh. He did to be fair, living this part of the world before, so he has better idea than me, but the number of times you can get clocking, clocking, clocking, what's it called? - Lengorchen. - Thank you. Into a sentence is extraordinary. Yeah. So we went to this aqueduct, that was your idea, and can I also go over, can I also go over? - Can I vote? - Can I vote? That's it, I can't go over. Can I vote, go over it, or you can walk it. - Yes. - So then you tell the listeners what actually happened. I was the one that was like, oh, I don't know if I want to walk over that seems quite high. - Take my vertigo kicks in. I walked this before. We walk out, take the dog out, children are fine, but I'm like, Charlie's like, "But no, kids fine." - No, they weren't. - Were they? - No, that shows how I'm fine. - No, I had, I had all three of them going, "Yes, your photos don't do." - You know the bit you get when you walk across going, I'm gonna throw myself off this which is just I don't get it right this whole I walk this Acredock before I know had it but this time I'm walking and I look down and go I'm gonna throw myself off here You know why he's thinking that is because I was walking behind him. He's like she's gonna throw I can feel it that excitement. This is before we went to North Wales to the beach I know Imagine the other way around. I'm sorry. I don't know where Andrew is. This is now the Charlie Woodward Park *laughs* Yes, so I went over this thing. Andrew was very pale by the time we got back across. The kids were not quite as pale but pretty pale. I absolutely loved it. I got the only thing I didn't like with the other people. I mean, I didn't mind the height at all. I didn't mind the vast landscape. I loved all of that. But the people, because you have to walk very close to one another. Yeah, um gosh that sounds very snobby doesn't it? I had next to the pub I was I had brush shoulders with the public Darling and I found it very hard and and people are really annoying as well I just I have I said that before on this podcast. I think so once or twice once or twice Yes, people can be very annoying as someone's dog did a massive shit in the middle of The plate. I mean we took our dog over right so Bob came and he was fine the feeling sigma pop was when he's standing right next to the edge by the railings, that he could probably get through. He was fine. Anywhere in there, the canal bit on the right side. No, I'm lying on the floor. - I know, we're-- - So people coming past in the end, I was picking him up, I'm going, can we go this side of that side? - No, I do think about that dog and that lady later, and I thought to be fair, you can't really blame a small dog for shitting themselves when they're that many feet up in the air. - No, no, I-- - Of all the places, I'm saying. - I was nearly there, I must say. I almost had my green bag out, but I was like sorry about this folks. Just there with me a second while I was cleaning up my husband's mat. When I say bike pass slightly over egging it but it was in the park and they could ride their bikes around on it so they loved that. That was their standout thing of the holiday. So there's no point dragging them up north Wales or dragging them across an aqueduct. these things don't stand out. They went, oh no, we like those few little like mole hills in the park where we took our bike or all the bit we go down the drive and into the field. There's a slight hump and we can jump off this little hump and that was great and that was our best place. So notice self do not spend money on things. Don't waste money on children. This is a parenting tip now don't go to all these places just take them where there's a bit of mud and a bike and you're Yeah, exactly. Take them there, let them run around. They will come to you crying, but the trick is the more wine you drink, the less you care. You see how that works? So that's really a beautiful thing, isn't it, when you think about it. So it's like you're going to a state of melonus, or come back to that folks, melonus, the mellow Andrew. Oh, don't give me so much. Anyway, you get into a nice state of mellow. I blame the dress. - And the kids are getting themselves all wound up, but they are getting their, all their energy out. - Yeah. - So when we went to this bike park, I had, I think this was day three, day three. - Day three. - And this is in Ellsmeer. - In Ellsmeer. - It is. - By the Mia. - Yes, and well, so they were so excited to go there. We took the bikes all the way down there with some sort of hazard biking, and then they go around the track once, I have eldest going oh my god I'm like oh my god someone's been in the wall and he's like oh my god my knee. Oh my knee. Yeah, so much That's actually quite accurate if someone's listening to that going that's just over the top no that's probably Not so we have that so that's the eldest and I'm like well and he's like I was trying to pull up his very skin tight jeans As they all wear and he can't get over to me. I went look there's no bloods coming through nothing's wrong And then he walks off and I went, look you're walking, so nothing's broken, just get on with it. That's my motor parenting. And she was pretty good at that as well. So we're pretty young caring between us. Well done us. And then the youngest comes up and she goes, this is five minutes later. I'm like, oh Jesus Christ, why is there no fold code in this coffee? Yes, what what's happened? This little boy, this little boy, I've seen this little boy, I'll explain him in a second. This little boy just caught me a stupid girl. Now our child is eight and a half. This little boy could know me no more than three and a half. Going round on his scooter and I went, right? And she goes, she looks to be like, well what are you going to do about it? And I said, if you think I'm going to go over to that little boy and tell him off, you've got another thing coming. No, I don't have a chat with his parent. Excuse me. Can you keep your child and behave? Look, my older child here is very upset. Yes, we haven't brought her up to do all the things like this. So if you couldn't, your child could just rain it in. I was just like, no, just bugger off. Okay, that's how it goes with us. So that was in the park. But they're hardened, - Yep. - No, not harder than enough, it turns out. - No, okay, but you were hardening. As she know, you're not so good at drawing on so many levels. - No, no. - It's not hard, no, okay, right. (laughing) What I'm trying to say, oh no, that's not gonna work out there. I was about to say you're still soft as a brush. Never mind, we're just gonna skip over that topic and just move on, I am talking emotionally. (upbeat music) So, yes, we were staying this lovely cottage, very small for five, but fine for what we needed. And we were surrounded by sheep, weren't we? Which was fantastic, because the views were amazing. - Yeah, it was fun. - You look out the kitchen window, just sheep and lambs and... - Yeah, a little airy of meat. - Wonderful. - Well, she's seen, basically. - Yeah, but in England. - And you were going to say that. 'Cause that's the sort of panickingcy, annoying husband you are. I know it was in England, But we went far from... - No, no, we went far. We would just up the road, yeah? - Good Lord. Why, I had the bridge opportunity. Why did I not take it? Anyway, yeah, so that we were surrounded by sheep and the dog couldn't get over how exciting this was. And we had to keep on the lead of, for obvious reasons, because he would have, well, I don't know if, I don't even know how brave he would actually be if one came up to him. - I don't think, yeah, run around, but eventually the file would have probably shot him, right? It was, yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, we should have left him up the lead. (laughing) That solves all problems. Does that happen with her husband as well? - No. - No. - Two, two, two, one. - Certainly not. - Okay, and yeah, but he loved all that. But then I got really annoyed with him 'cause he'd less basically pulled us to Ellsmear one day. I said, no, I can't deal with this. So we put the halty on him. And we talked about the halty before. (gasps) He's just not like that. It is one of the funniest sites ever, though, to see your dog literally lie down with his face on the ground, looking at you with his eyebrows twitching, going, - You fuckers. - Yeah. Now luckily, he's a border terrier, and he lies on the ground, and I'm not moving, and you go, come along! (laughing) - He's like Barbara Woodhouse, come along, baby! He has no choice, he moves, 'cause he's little, right? - Yeah, for we see other people with holdings who have massive dogs, they must go through hell, 'cause there's no way you're gonna move a massive dog. - No, no, no, but he didn't, he was just like, I'm gonna lie down, I'm not doing the same thing. - Yeah, what I just dragged him across Ellsmear, was sparks flying, you know? He was fine, slightly, you know, a few friction burns. But that's his own problem. But actually, he's so much quieter. Yes, I did an Easter I can't only I put the eggs out. So they know already, we're all over, all over, all over, all over the bunny side of it. Yeah. But then I was like, just putting these eggs around the garden at this place. And I thought this was quite clever of me. on the front it said there are 21 of them so I was like okay so I know many how many have gone out and how many need to come in right and it was going quite well Except only some of these little eggs were green so we've lost one to maybe a sheep I still I still think a child might have snatched it and gone or I don't know where it is They wouldn't give in though with they I was like I was just like no we could have left them out to midnight Go and you find it you're not coming into you find yeah done Yeah, yeah, we only put your kinder made a problem. Kinder, kinder, kinder, kinder. Why we didn't, we didn't actually put 21 in there. The children are out till midnight. Oh, we can't find it, let us in, please. What if Kinda did it? Oh, Kinda, you owe us an egg. Yeah. Oh, I think they do. It was the big one. You know, the one with the toy in it that was missing. Oh, no, wasn't it the little green one? I was about to say, I was about to say, there wasn't it the lint one, no, because that's when you have to talk to lint Charlie. No, it was, it was the very, very large hotel chocolate one. - I remember now, yes it was that one, that one. (bells chiming) - These holidays are wonderful, they like it away, but there's definitely a parenting thing you have to do where you've got to work out how much time you can keep your children occupied so you can have some time off. 'Cause otherwise you just end up going, well I've had a few days away, and all I've done is parent-parent-parent. - Well I came back exhausted because not only did, well, Ashley, there's two things I'm gonna... (laughing) That is another nervous laugh. - No. - Yes, so, well, number one, the mattress. You know, people always say, which takes a while to get used to a mattress, no one could get used to this. There's no such thing as sleeping, going from a normal mattress to sleeping on concrete and going, you'll get used to that. - Oh, this is very nice mattress and we've got a top right, it's a very nice mattress. So it's very comfortable. - But all this person needed to do was put a top on. Anyway, I didn't get sleep for five nights. And the other thing is Andrew decides to check out. Now, what I mean by this, folks, is this? I don't know what happened. Good Friday comes around and you can see he's in a good mood and I'm like, well, this is good, this is going well. And we go and start walking out across Ellsmear. It was only like sort of three quarters of the way through the day that I thought, he's not answering any of the kids' questions. In fact, he's not even really walking with us. He had bob-up up the front and the kids were like, or why is the sky blue? Why is there a dead duck in the canal? Is the duck dead? Or is it, is it RIP and all this stuff? Charlie, Charlie, Charlie and I went, Andrew, are you with us? And he went, yeah! And I was like, the sod has checked out and I am doing the parenting. So on Saturday, I said, right, I'm going to be checking out. Only just a work like that with our children, because they're still like Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. I don't understand why cats got trees, can dogs got trees? Can one bat's fly? I don't know. I don't know why I've got bogus in my nose. I don't know why I don't sleep at night. I don't like my brother and sister. Do I tell you that? And I've never had a milkshake before. Actually, I've had about 25,000 of them. Mmm. Now, Andrew again has checked out. So he's come back looking very refreshed. I've come back looking... Interesting. (laughing) And then I thought about putting a face mask on and as per the last episode I thought, "You know what, bugger it, just go to pay." (laughing) (upbeat music) Yeah, I have to say, we had to cut a few coffees up north, up north. - Up north, yeah. - Oh my god. - I don't know, they must make it with extra caffeine. Or we don't-- - Or we just, we might look so shit, they're like, oh my god, they're on extra coffees. - We need to double double this one, there was a few that we and it was quite consistent you're gonna have a flat white but it's like yeah the caffeine I was being in I was quite shaky on the on the first one quite shaky not used to that yeah yeah crazy but yes yeah but we did that we found we but we went some nice places I mean the one I would mention that if you're there now I've lived near Oslo Street before but we went to the Stonehouse Brewery just outside Oslo Street in the near station and that was fab there, we sat outside, food, cup of beers, that was very nice, definitely a recommendation if you're in that area. That was awesome and it was a nice sunny day, it was really really good. We've had a really busy day. And to the little girl who gave our youngest a bag of malt teasers because the parents said that they were going to start listening. They had a huge thanks, what a sweet, what a lovely lovely gesture. They live in Whittington, - It didn't even witty turn. - It didn't turn. - And Ari was like, "I want to figure out which is their house. It has to be one without a car." - Because they're at the park. - I'm a supernatural waiter, think, isn't it? (funky music) Beaking of the youngest one. So this is what I got on the last morning and back to me not looking so great. She went, "Oh, do you know? "I was thinking, I saw this ad the other day on television. "I think it was yesterday or something. I saw this ad and I thought I'd buy this for Charlie with my birthday money or something like that or for her birthday, I think she said, for her birthday. And I was like, "Oh, but sweet, what is it?" She went to this cream that helped us with anti-aging. Oh my god, jaw floor. I mean, admittedly I am not looking my best at the moment, but wow. So then she saw Andrew's face, which basically was a face of, oh shit, I'm going to hear all about this. And the youngest interpreted that as Andrew being jealous. So our youngest therefore goes, oh don't worry, I'll get you some as well. So not only am I born in the grim times. Yeah, the grim times, yeah, you need anti-aging. Are you anti-aging cream? Yeah, it's just, I mean there's no bloody hope, is there really? - No. - And might as well just give up. (piano music) As you're into a computer shit. What I want to know, you know passwords and stuff? - Yeah. - I get really annoyed with passwords. And I had a conversation with some of the other day about how annoying passwords are. - Yes. - And it's getting increasingly annoying. And I am just like this other person, I have to write a tool down, which of course, if you're a thief, a burglar, you'll just be like, "Lovely, I'll have the notebook and the computer, excellent, go to town." So why is it that we have to keep changing our passwords? And why do we have to like go, now it's not just like, make sure there's a capital in it and a number. It's like no, if you could just make sure that you're left little toe and you're right, where you're in the bush and a little bit of wizard juices in there, then we're happy for you to go ahead and shop at Aster. - I could be really boring now. - Oh no, I don't want to boring. - No, I'm not boring, actually. I think I agree that the whole past, you shouldn't need to remember a password, right? That's the only way it can be secure. If you need to remember it, it doesn't work 'cause people put a one or a two or a three at the end of it if they have to change it. You shouldn't need to remember it. So we have to get to a biometric bit, like you do on your phone. - Yeah, but the thing is right. So then I have this other side of things. I mean, life is so complicated. Okay, so then it goes, I'm suggesting a strong password. I go, absolutely. I'll take your strong password, fantastic. for doing the job. Then I go to another device and it goes, "I can't remember your password." I'm like, "Well, screw you because that has just really bugged up everything, hasn't it?" Passwords are for a fact a pain. Yeah, and that's the problem with using Apple and non-AppleStars. Oh, right. See, he could get really serious on this because he actually gets this stuff. Whereas I'm just like, "I'll be in my studio and I'll be WhatsAppping him, going, I'm fucking locked up!" I have to ask them again. And then, because it goes, like I asked the shops, go on the credit card and it's like, I have to ask, because it's in Andrew's name. Um, Andrew, I don't know why it's being like that, sadly by the way. Andrew, please may I have the code for our food? And then I have to wait sometimes, because it's in the meeting and it then locks me out and goes, I'm sorry, you weren't fast enough, you've lost all of your changes. And we don't think you are who you say you are. I'm like, no, it's because I have to beg my husband for a hug to feed him. (funky music) - Online shopping, right? - Online shopping, I love a bit, for online shopping. - No, no, but supermarket shopping. We go away, we go to the supermarket, don't we? You don't do it anymore. - No, and you know why? I haven't gone around three supermarkets. Now I'm like, fucking hell, that's no one wants to be doing that. I can't stand it. - I can't enjoy it. - Well, good for you mate, but. I quite like it just having a wonder around. - Yes, but the difference is, and I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna put this out there, and there'll be many a woman going, "Yeah, I hate you, I hate you sister." The difference is this, a man goes to a supermarket. He'll come out with the most random of things. He'll come out with like a hot cross bun, one egg, a magazine on Land Rover's, and perhaps a box of cereal. Now, remember, we are a family of five, okay? (laughing) That's great! Well, I'm glad that you've had a great time at the supermarket, honey. But the rest of us need the bread, the meat, the eggs, the cleaning products. That's always bypasses the male brain. I'm so nice about that. I mean, the one thing I do get now, if they bought it back, is I get a coffee, get a free paper. I mean, these are these are... Toilething? These are really good things to get. You see? That's helping everyone in the family. Offers on? These are meal deals you can occasionally get. Yeah. They've got a good wine selection. Yeah, the wine you're quite good at, I'll give you that, you're good at that. But what about the actual feeding of family? No, no, that often takes some back seat. Yeah, so you'll come back and go, "I've found the most amazing random cheese from southern Spain." And, "Oh, all this red wine was on offer." And I got you some fees at which point of course I can't really complain too much. I totally get that. But then I'm like, "Oh, no, but the only thing is..." Have I get them lollipops? Yeah, I see that. - Yeah, so I get, they do get, I can do it if I really try. - Yeah. - Just don't try very hard. (laughing) - Anyway, this is why I go online shopping because then I can go to chickens, three cucumbers. - It's a bit boring. - I mean, it's so boring, but at least I know that people will generally be fed. - Yes. - If you ask our children, they'll say, they're never fed because they get hungry every other minute. But they are, I can promise you, fed beyond, beyond the brims of their actual bodies. (slow electric music) - So I read an article recently in the telegraph for a guy that goes and does tasty English restaurants, et cetera, but his children, him and his wife go out, but with their children or the child, I think he's only one. He's gone along the route of going, I'll just give them the eye packs. While I'm in the restaurant. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm knowing. - I know, I know. - Actually, you know, I'm over here. But he said I look around, other parents are doing the same thing, child, iPad, and it's fantastic. As in, he said, "Segos, you can have time with your wife, "the children are quiet, you're all done." The bit he's come to realize now is none of these children growing up have a clue how to sit in a restaurant, how to have a conversation with somebody, how to eat, how to use an iPhone 4. They just can't do it. And when you go to a restaurant, every place we go Thank you our children do very well. Thank you. Yeah, but they are very consistent Then you know the nice efforts to where we eat. We don't do eye-pad training. They are actually really good on the whole They are quite good on my standards are particularly high I do sound like with me if you live with me. It's like living in the army, but No, I do believe in that but no because it's not even so much for me There's a part of it as for me and for you, but it's also to set them up for life so that they don't have to wonder about anything Going forward they won't sit there one day with their employer The big boss or something and be like I've never seen a fish knife before or I've never worked from the outside in It's not even that comedy it's more. I don't even know how to use a knife for fork Oh, no, no, no, no, I mean you go out to a restaurant or you've got serious now - Yeah, you put, you're there's so many children, you see. Well, probably they're not, they can't eat properly. And let's be honest, it's not just children. At most adults, if you're one of those most adults out there, I'd recommend going learn, right? Most adults. - You do know that people will now be looking at a school table, man, it's going to be hard. - Oh, what? I saw you do that. I saw it. - Yeah, you're rubbish. - Oh my gosh, we are too. - But I get, but especially on the children front, right? They don't eat nicely, right? They don't know how to behave at the table. I am being a bit picky and a bit, but I think we should do better. I think, you know, the children need to be able to go out and eat. They need to be able to learn how to communicate and have a conversation between themselves or with adults or with other people. You need to be able to do this. These are core skills that we all need. And I think the core of it, the reason we don't do it, is I don't think people actually sit at a table anymore. - Oh no, there's a lot in that, definitely. - You all are meals at the TV. We have it on a tray at the time. - I will just say, there are times when I really do want to just get their iPads out. I mean, I think we're making out there were saints. I'm just a really knackered, not saint. I'm just like, I believe in consistency. But. - I get there at some occasions where you can allow a little bit, but we don't as a rule. Not at the time when you're eating, yes, you can have the iPad, But not while you're eating, when the food's there. No. - No, even in the back of the car yesterday on the way back, they were given some little bits to eat in the back. And I said, I pads down and they were like, what, we're not in the back of a land Rover that's leaking for a star. And I was like, yeah, but it's about you're now eating and you're talking to each other, that's the idea. - Wait, we will get moaned at. People are posting, you shouldn't allow your children to eat in the car, what are you doing? - We've already had emails. - I've already had a chat. (laughing) - So we're not perfect, right? But Tolly did say, she actually, she said to me, said, "I've learnt something on this trip. "There was one thing you came back "and when I've learnt something." - Have I learnt? - And in the last, - And it was the fact that when we do, - No, I do remember. - Do you remember, do you wanna say what it was you learnt? - No, I learnt. It's basically that you have to have a lot of food on tap to basically stuff in everyone's faces. So we've now, that's the second, So we went away 10, don't two weeks ago for a night and then we've just been away for five nights and all the trips have been made kind of easy, easy with food. Like, oh, I can see someone slightly frowning. Oh, I tell you what, have a piece of chocolate. Oh my God, I can see she's just about to cry, have a pork pie and it works beautifully. - It does, I think it goes back and this, you learn things from your parents and you don't think you learned. And then he goes back to that. You remember, we talked about being in a pub car park and they appropriately spaced out the, you wait an hour and then you get a packet of Chris and then an hour, the hour goes past and you get a bottle of Coke. They work the children. - Not in my life. - All right, but anyway. - Not in my life. - But I think you work out, they have a period of time where they can sort of cope and they need a distraction. - Absolutely, yeah. - Pack it of Chris. - Absolutely, no, it's totally the way forward. So I'm just all about bribery. So this is my take home message to everyone. Life is about bribery and food and more often than not, getting your own mellow together, be it through drink, walking ahead of the family, whatever you need to do. You just hold onto that little bit of sanity and in the end everyone will benefit. - I agree, but also consistency and disability. - Oh he's got really serious, I feel the funny fact. - Yeah, yeah, but I think you're consistent as in the bit I fail with is we're gonna do this, we're gonna tell them, No, you can't do that. And I'm like, oh, I'm-- So I'm-- Well, I had a bit of a go at you, didn't I? Oh, yeah. What morning was the Sunday morning? Come back. The Monday morning, when you decided to take us to the beach. Oh, yeah, that day worked really well for you. Yeah, because I was doing my parenting, and you have this habit of just switching off and reading the newspaper and his phone and stuff, as though I can't see it. And I'm like, why am I doing this by myself? And the problem is, if I do it by myself, I either end up being the evil stepmother or evil mum, however you want to look at it, it doesn't matter. But I haven't got the backup, so I had a massive go at you as well, didn't I, in front of the children? - No, very not a massive one. - Not a massive one, but just quite a telling one. - Yes, and then you look and go, "Oh, he's in the shed as well." (laughing) - And they're like, "Ah, not just us." So, so this unbelievably, 'cause time flies when you're having fun, right? This is episode 11. Fantastic, wow. Amazing. Amazing. And it's been, it has been an absolute blast. It's been made a blast because we've had such great feedback from you guys. Really, really fantastic. If you want to follow us on Instagram, we're under funny, not fably, I wouldn't go there. If you want to follow us on Instagram, we're on... *cough* *cough* *cough* If you wanna follow us on Instagram, we- *laughs* I can only just- yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just loving this. You know what I said? Can we just do the- like get the hook, get people in? *cough* A colleague's gonna do it? Don't worry. Stay with us. Stay with us, folks. *cough* Okay, okay, professionalism. I can see Simon shaking his head right now. Bear with it. Okay, if you want to follow us. So, if you want to follow us on Instagram, we are Funny Family Podcast. Funny Family Podcast. I got it wrong anyway. But again, Funny Family Podcast, please follow us lots of pictures of what we're doing and what we're up to. - I do the famous Jade Roller. - Like and follow our podcast on Spotify, on Apple, Google, all your favorite podcasts episodes and feedback to us, so email us. Any, Andrew at funnyfagny.com, Charlie@funnyfamily.com, send your email through. - Yeah, too, we love hearing from you. It's great, I feel like we're all just one big family and I have to say they're all brilliant, aren't they? - Yeah, absolutely, you love it, yeah. - And if you want us to talk about anything, If you want any insight into some of the stuff we've already talked about, then we can dig deeper into that. But yeah, let us know. If you want insights into stuff we haven't talked about. Let us know. No, I'm happy to talk behind the bedroom door and stuff. Everyone's now turned off, got, oh God. I tell you why, 'cause it'll be a really brief episode. (laughing) No, I don't know. I don't know. (laughing) Oh God, you should say that too. I just said he's never gonna forgive me. Oh shit, I'm in big trouble now. - Quality not contenting. (laughing) - And all that, yeah. - And all that jazz. - Anyway, so that'd be great. - It's been great, and we did have the best holiday. So thank you for that. Thanks you for all the laughs. As always, love you. - I do. - Love you all. - Love you all. Take care. See you soon. Bye. - Bye. (upbeat music) [Music]