Andrew’s Date with Victoria and a Strapping Man

Andrew tells us of his adventures in London when he apparently had an heart op… Charlie airs her views on ‘revolutionary shit’ as the world celebrates King Charles Third’s Coronation. The King would be impressed with Charlie’s ability to talk youth slang…

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Transcript

 [Music] Hello, welcome, I'm Charlie and this is my husband Andrew. Hello. Our podcast Funny Family is a one-stop shop to making you feel your family is actually normal. Whatever normal may be, I cook, we parent, and we most importantly survive the school playground. Ish. [Music] Hi, Andrew. Hi, Charlie, how are you? I'm very well thank you. I've managed to look right in the studio and clearly is wondering what an earth is going on here. I'd like to tell you, man, this is where magic happens. Speaking of magic happening, I'd like to know about your visit to London. Of my visit to London? Yes, yes. Because I think I'm not sure what happened there. You tell everyone on Instagram that you went from an operation. But all I'm hearing is these words, heart flutter, Victoria. [laughs] And then you can add the extra bit of a story in a second. And I'm thinking this was no way heart surgery. This was some sort of, you know, Greek style get together. [laughs] I do, yeah. So the one thing I remember over the last two weeks, because we've been off air for a period of time, because I had to go out with the thing that'll stand out in my mind forever, was the fact that I had a man. - Oh, shaved my groin. - A big man at that. - A very vague talk. - Talk butch man. - Butch man, yes. - Yes. - Shade my groin. - Which is, what was that like? (laughing) - Oh, it's voices got very pitched. - It wasn't sexual in any way, so it performed honest. (laughing) - So as I say, I've had heart flutters, Victoria, man, shaved groin. I'm like, darling, if you want to go away and do that for a couple of nights, you do that, but don't leave me with the children. (laughing) Anyway, on a serious note, it went well. You had a heart, it had heart, up and all good. - All good, yes, yeah, it was all done. I'm now two weeks post-op, 'cause no heart, that's still. But no, it's fine, all good. - Yep, and that's the dog in the background, just to show how real we keep it here. And it's only this morning you said, oh, I think I need to get back into fitness. Was that your words? No, no, no, no, I need to get back into keep fit. Yeah, so I was like oh my god. Are you Jane Fonda? No, I've got the Leotard as well from when I was in London See I knew it at all God Did the growing thing was mr. Motivator And Andrew was wearing a pink leotard. I say no more. Wow. Okay, not bruised. Very bruised. Yes, I saw that. But now I'm forgetting to question whether you actually been near a hospital. Okay, interesting. No evidence. Well, once you were having the time of your life, because my sympathy levels went down, didn't they? As you were there. They did, because I, luckily through work, I have private health insurance. So I was in a hospital, opposite Buckingham Palace. I wasn't in Buckingham Palace. Alice, it's a thing happening there this week, but yeah, yeah, I don't know what, but yeah, I bet anyway, and it was my own room and food on demand, three calls. Well, it started, you went on the first day night, and you were staying in a hotel, and I thought, well, and I got really teary saying bye to you, you know, you always have to do the just in case. Yeah, you do. I suggest I got a bit more teary than you if I'm allowed to say so. I would agree with you. I sort of wept all the way back home with the dog in the front of the car driving me nuts trying to get on my lap So I was crying a bit about that and a crying about the fact that you had gone off to London And then literally two hours later I get start getting these photos through on my phone of the coolest bits of London And he's like and I'm just gonna pop in here and it was like this really amazing restaurant and have staking chips, a carif of red wine, because he'd been told it's not eat as of midnight, so he was like, well, you know, - I get it all in, - It's getting all in. - It was me on, that was the thing, right? Am I supposed to do it in style, right? - Yeah, well, yeah, I suppose. (laughing) At my night wasn't going too badly, but I wasn't enjoying my wine. You were like, I think I'm just gonna finish off my carif of red vino, and I'm just like, good for you, whilst I'm listening to three children going, (imitates carifing) - Yeah, so that was that, and then it was Operation Day. So again, my heart went out to you. (laughing) My heart went out to you, 'cause you need a heart to it. - I needed it, no, no, yes, yeah. - Anyway, my heart went out to you, and then I was quite teary, and then you came round, and then an hour later you showed me a picture of your lunch, which was a starter of some sort of, I can't even remember, but the point is, there was a starter, lasagna, and a pudding. - Yes, I can't remember what it was. - And then half-roy through the afternoon is my stress level, so going up somewhat, 'cause I'm doing school runs and trying to keep, oh, the eldest decided to pull one on me. He was like, "All my bags broken, "and you've gotta pick me up," which I thought, well, it must be really broken. It was not broken at all. It was like the zip was a tiny bit broken. - That's a whole other disaster story. - That was my stress level. At which point should I go? I've just asked for a little snack and this turns up. It was a plowman's lunch. This is not a snack. This is what you pay good money for a restaurant. - Yeah, it's a 24 hour service. You could have a snack at any point and they happen to do a plowman's lunch. - And you were like, oh, and I'll be back home tomorrow. I was like, just stay there with your man shaving your groin in Victoria, whoever she is. Yeah. - But anyway, you survived. I survived, but I was very tired. Yeah, after what I needed some days to recover, didn't I? Yeah, and of course I didn't. I was fresh as a day to get. I don't know if anyone's picked up on a theme here. How I seem to like sort of take on a lot of the childcare and look quite knackered. And yes, I do understand you had heart says, so of course you're going to look tired. But it looks equally tired. So, there's a little thing happening on Saturday. Wait, well, next tomorrow. No, it's Thursday. Sorry. Sorry, he had heart operation. I just need to clarify. He's going to have the brain operation in a month or so. I don't think they can cure it. No, they're not sure about this one. I'll be honest. Yeah, anyway, on Saturday. Yes. Yes. Little thing happening. Yeah, a coronation. and elders, first day. - Certainly. - Yes. - Yes. - But yes, the coronation. So the coronation is a fascinating thing. I'm quite looking forward to it because I take very little for me to have a party. - No, no, I would concur. Yes, no, we like a party. - Yes. I've got my bunting up. I don't want red, white and blue bunting. It doesn't go with my decor. So I've gone for a slightly different colour. - Is that a Farrell and Ball colour bunting? - It's more down that line. (laughing) Yeah. And we have my parents coming over, don't we? and we're going to have a barbecue, although I'm looking at the window going, I don't think we're actually going to have a summer this year. And it's all going to be very jolly and very British. Ben, and we say, "I will struggle with the oath. I'll have to just sort of leave some words out." Why is that? Well, they talk about some mythical character. God. God, yes. Yes. Well, but yeah. Well, the middle one pointed out one thing really interesting on the way. way well school today there was somebody with a sign quite great God save the God save the king and and he was talking about God save the queen he said well he didn't do that very well did he? I thought to me what's dead? He didn't save reddy I don't believe in Christianity no they invented Christmas and Easter and actually I think Christmas is just about the presence and Easter is just for eggs and I'm happy with that all good. That's my son. Good boy. Yeah, what I also think is ridiculous are all this talk about these people who are going to protest against the king and look I think everyone has a right to think whatever they want. However, we also have a right to enjoy the day and if you want to enjoy the day, you should be allowed to enjoy the day and not expect someone to get out the the Pritz Dickens blew themselves to your back or something or I don't know. I mean, they're watching it through some sort of powder over here. Well, you've got the load that are going not in my name or not my king. Yeah. And they decide they're not monochist. They're more, I don't think they're a public and they just, they think it's waste of money. They're really, you know, I mean, I'd been down that route. I must admit in the past. No, but you don't eat a protest about it. No, no, I never protest about it. You just, if you don't believe in it, it's fine. Just don't go into the-- This is not French, just the luscious. - No, just let other people go. - The big Charles is actually quite laid back as it happens. - Just allow other people to do what they want to do. - Exactly, exactly. - Yeah, and it's the just stop oil protestors and all that. Just, oh yeah. - I just, I'm getting so sick of all this revolutionary shit as I put it to the other day. I said I wasn't gonna swear on this podcast, there it goes, but it is true that I'm gonna use that as a term and I'm doing my little quotation marks because I do believe it is revolutionary shit. I mean, people doing whatever they were doing at the horses. - Oh, yeah, the race. - The Grand National. - Grand National. - And there was a games horse racing. So they decided they were going to be the horse. - Yeah, but then there was a guy who was like, I think we talked about this before, but then there was the guy who was like, yeah, but people eat horses and I think Jeremy Fein said, yes, but not these ones. - Yeah, these are like. - Yeah, these are probably looked after as well as the Royal Family. and they just don't seem to have much of an argument and I'm sorry if you are on their side but that's my that's my take on it I think there's just a lot of revolutionary shit. Okay Speaking of strikes You have to be so careful these days. You literally have to be so careful. You can't say anything. I've decided. I know I don't know you can I mean it We talk a lot about we go oh should we talk about that on the podcast and the number of times go I actually don't think we can No, our conversations in the privacy of our own home. Yeah, are slightly different to our public And this is pretty open so you're wondering what we talk about in privacy of our own homes But yes, we had more strikes this week, so we made the most of them. Yeah We did and we went away for a couple of nights We did very well And it was actually surprisingly lovely. Yeah, and you've been to more, I've been through Moulbrough. I'd never stopped in Moulbrough before. You used to go and play tennis. Play tennis. The Moulbrough College girls. How did you get on? Oh, we were really, I was brilliant. Yeah, totally smashed them in the car. And they're all listening now going, you wouldn't smash me now. No, that's true. Now I don't think I can even remember how told a racket. But back then I actually had some talent. That is true. - And it brought back memories while we were walking around marble with all the six formers walking around. - Yeah, oh, and they killed some stuff. I love it. - Yes. - I love it. Yeah, so that was really fun. And then we also had the greatest, greatest two dinners of my life. - Yeah, we were. - Not at all. I don't know, but he was up there. And we went to Rick Stein's restaurant in Malbra. - We did, well we booked, so we'd look. So we stopped, we go upscale with our hotels, we go to the Premier Inn, which actually is very good. If they want us to, it's great. Right, but we go to the Premier, we've done it a few times, actually the fab. And it's great just outside my-- - I'm all over that. - But I went, let's, yeah, we're away for a few days, making the most of the strike. So we booked into Rick's Dines, and thought, well, let's go out there. And before we even finished the meal, I think we'd booked in for the next night. It was fab, wasn't it? - Yeah, I was quite pissed when I said, suggested that, but it was still fabed the next night as well. And also because I come from a house where we don't eat much fish because Andrew's not the biggest fish lover, although I have to say the kids are great at eating fish so I'm just going to ignore you from now on. Yeah, I don't know why I don't eat fish. I do know why I don't eat fish. Oh, no, we be be be this is your mother. Yeah. The listeners know that one. Right. But anyway, so I just thought I'm just going to make the most of it. Yeah. So I had scallops, I had an Indonesian seafood curry, I had what did I have? Crab. and fish soup which are middle child absolutely a door to much as I do. From Amir in France he had the fish soup and he looked and I want fish soup. So he had the mole maranet and then fish soup twice the same two days. And then the youngest had never had moles before and she devoured them. I don't think you say moles. I would say moles. I think you know that there's an S on the end. I'm saying that because it just sounded British. You know that thing where you're like in France and you go 'Javoudre' or it's probably not even that actually, it's probably like 'Javadras' and mousets. Mouss. Yeah, my friend is not very good. I've done but I've been doing- You've done a year of Jua Linguam. I know and you look at me like how day, - Yeah, and how Christian, what I'm saying. - And I'm still rubbish. - That's actually, he's really good. - I could talk. - He's really good. I'm just being a potential city, really. (laughs) (bells chiming) It was the bank holiday Monday, but because there was a strike on the Tuesday, we thought, you know what? Right, we'll go with that. So we went walking around these, how you say? - I think it's a savannak. I think it is. - Savannak forest. and we walked in all, it was about 14 kilometres. - Yes, yes. - Something like that. - Which is pretty good going. - Which we go going. - With three children, not really complaining. - No, but also me not complaining. (laughing) - It's more of a moment, or I think. - But no, it's fine, it was really good. Yeah, so enjoy that. - Yeah, I was really happy. - Break, break a few days away, got to be done. - Yeah. - Reconvent, and the Bobster, backing kennels. - Backing kennels, yeah. And I think he seems fine. Last time he seemed a little bit uneasy when he came out exhausted. - Nackered. - Although that's like the days. - He probably, you know, out on the tiles or whatever. But yeah, this time absolutely chilled out as anything. - Maybe it's a love thing going on with the pop. - Yes, that's true. - So we do the, you know, the halty thing. We do the halty to school with him. And now there's the cows in the field. He's got a bit of a thing for one of the cows. So the point is actually giving the cow a kiss. - Yeah, they've kissed each other. - Literally, licking the cow. - No, I don't know, they actually have kissed each other. It's quite weird, probably a little bit dangerous, actually if I really thought it through. But, and I was also like, oh, can you get like some bovine flu thing? 'Cause I mean, dogs are bad enough as it is, 'cause you know, we all know that they lick their bits and lick things that, oh, just don't overthink it. Don't let your dog smouth near yours. (grunting) Anyway, but then I was like, watching him kiss this cow. That sounded so weird. Anyway, he was, he was kissing this cow. And I was like, oh, that's kind of cute, but that's not cute. Oh God, what's he caught now? You know what I mean? - Very weird, very weird. But yeah, he's got to think cows and horses. - Yeah, I don't know. - I think he's bigger. But what did he see last night in our garden? - Oh, yes, well, a hedgehog, which I used to see all the time when I was younger, and we used to feed hedgehogs, Milk and bread and you tell anyone now, what don't you feed hedgehogs? - Milk and bread. - Milk and bread. They're lactose intolerant and the bread has no goodness to it apparently. So we always put milk and bread out and basically you make the meal. But we haven't seen any for ages and we had a hedgehog in our garden, which is fat. And they let the dog out for a wee and he was going absolutely bonkers. - Very bonkers, 'cause he curled up didn't he? - Yeah. - He curled up, which is to be fair. You know, he's probably like, "Oh, oh, it's an animal. - Oh wait, no, it's a tennis ball. Oh no wait, tennis ball's got spikes. I mean that is quite a lot for a dog to take in. - Yeah, especially Bob. - Especially Bob, yeah, it's not the greatest blessing. - Yeah, no great, we've got a hit on C to go, so I've got a fish in. I think I'm like, Dr. Doe little coming out here. - Not really, 'cause I don't know where the toads have gone. - Yeah, we had lots of tabples that disappeared. - I think, I think I-- - You think I cleaned them out? - I, yeah. I'm gonna say this, and there's gonna be animal rights protesters pinning themselves to our face. - No, those revolutionaries, can they be coming round right? - No, the revolutionaries shave the front. - The revolutionaries shave the front. - Well, and they might have a point in your case, 'cause I remember saying to you, please be careful when you clear it out, because obviously we've got all this frog or totes ball or whatever it was. And you were like, no, that's fine. And then I looked the next day and I couldn't see one. Now, I'm not being funny, that's a very weird coincidence. incidents. Yes. Yes. So moving swiftly on. I'm cleaning the pond. Yes. Well something I've done recently, this is a bit embarrassing actually, is I've been harassing. I will finish this sentence. I've been harassing a company who I was determined had not given me me a refund and I'd sent my thing off and they had acknowledged that they'd received it and they still weren't giving me my refund and we were like four weeks or not. Well you kept chasing me, you kept saying. I kept saying, "Is it on the credit card?" Check the credit card and I'm going, "No, nothing." No, I can't see anything from that company on the credit card at all. And I was like, "This is ridiculous." So I've been sending daily emails, massively pissed off from GL7 or I've just given from a postcard away. (laughs) (laughs) Massively pissed off from Gloucestershire. And so on as well, it's been going on and on and eventually they've just stopped talking to me and I'm like, "I keep going to the office, so rude." Now, and I've since they've stopped talking to me, I've threatened to go to the financial ombudsman. I've threatened to do so much. I basically kind of go to the telegraph and get myself a free crate of wine if I can, threatened the whole thing. Then you said to me, the other day, you sure it was on the credit card, not on your card. And I was like, yes, I'm absolutely sure, but I will check. And they're, they'll behold, three and a half weeks ago, they had given me my money back. (laughing) So I now imagine I'm on a wanted poster throughout this company. - Ignore, ignore, ignore, don't sell or anything else. We really don't need that at all. - But I see, totally nuts. - Yeah, yeah. - To the point you were actually gonna go, I needed the reason being, is you were gonna go claim off the credit card. I've had him on this company, go claim off the credit card. So I'm going, but I need the transaction to claim it. - It wasn't even that much really. It's a big scheme of life, but once I get a beer in my bonnet, that's the sort of person I am. - Which is true, yes. - Yes, I just to kind of let things go, I need closure. (piano music) something that the children have been teaching us of late is some slang. Oh. Have no. Well they're not on purpose teaching, they say it and I go, "Oh what does that mean?" I speak like that obviously. What does that mean? And so John, to give us some. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. So I think that, I think that one, that one. I think that one. And then if any, and then they get into it. So you can give us their slang and then if people are listening, if they want to give their children slang that their children say that they have no idea what it is send it in video clip whatever you want to do post on you but deliver let us know because it's so funny it's so funny well there's a lot of everyone's now a bra bra not a bra a bra bra oh sorry I'm like again I'm already ruining it right she's not so elongated no no see I can do you if not French right Maybe not. You can do neither. [laughter] Yeah, so it's like, it's always like, yeah, bra, yeah, bra, bra. And I'm really, is it skilled? Skills? I'm a skills skills skills skills skills skills skills skills. I skills sounds the grammatically sounds to grammar sounds too good. I think it's skills. I'm skills at that. And then the best one I've heard of late is eat. Eat. Eat. That's why I just said it. And by the way, if you've just tuned in, this is not David Attenborough, I love to hear some fields of goats. Eat. And so, "eat" means... To throw something, to eat it. Well, I said the other day to the middle one who fell off his bike, or just be careful, you don't eat off your bike again. And he looked at me like, could the ground just swallow me up? Oh my god. So we do play it back to them and they look at us very strangely don't they with this funny that's a that's a parents prerogative yeah yeah yeah to make the feel uncomfortable and awkward yes well I mean you know yeah yeah if it goes down the generations they'll do it to their kids blood blah blah blah it just goes on it just won't be yeet anymore no um by the way if I'm swearing and I'm really sorry because I genuinely don't know what it means and there's people now coming. If she says that one more time I will never listen to this podcast again. Yeah. It's probably you're probably slanging off some revolutionary or something or racist or something. If it's the revolutionary shit that's fine. Oh yeah you take your yeet and you back off from the thing see I tell you what. Yeah, get in line man. I'm well skilled at this. You welcome here all day. I'm looking down the script notes. I'm going to be really honest with your audience down. I've got ten of them. Do you want to expand on that? Is that anything to do with your cryptovictoria with the big, big, big breed of a man? No, no, I just think this is a man-aged thing. You see the adverts and they come out. And I'm getting to the point that as a man, and people listening, suddenly, it doesn't matter how long you stand there shaking it after you've had a wee. Honestly. It was not too bad. It really doesn't matter how long you stand there shaking it after you've had a wee. You put it away and dribble. I mean, no. Oh, it is nothing you can do about it. Oh my God, I literally didn't know this was going to happen. I am so sorry to everyone who's eating in the moment. So you get to the point you're going, well, like I can... May I ask therefore if the... Do you lose your eyesight at the same time as that final dribble? Is that the excuse for round? Yeah, no, I'm short-sighted if it ever happens. No, I think that's a forever thing with boys, right? No, no, no, no. That's not a big enough hole. That of it, anyway. But I have to say that the needing the losing... So as a woman who's had a child, the bladder control, well, let's put it like this. So I was on the end of our walk in Moulbrough and I suddenly needed the loo. But the thing is, that's fine. If I, all that's, if that's all I have to concentrate on, only then we get to the most treacherous part of it. And I'm trying to get down the cliff face. Trying to get down a cliff face and suddenly realise I need the loo. These things probably coincided like, oh my god, what am I doing? I'm going to wet myself, but the thing is my brain can't hold onto those two things. So I can't multitask. So there was a lot of like, walk down a bit, stop. Oh my god, don't make me laugh, walk down a bit, stop. Anyway, and then we go, as I said, to Rick Steins again in the evening, we had gone into the loop between them. I was reading them a Rick's time. I'm not that good. And on the way back from Rick Steins, I suddenly needed the lure again. I said to you, hold my hand. (laughing) And I made you talk to me all the way back. I then actually walked me to the loop door walk. 'Cause I thought if I lose any grip here, it's just, you know why? I don't think there's a muscle there. - No, no, I think you're obviously, you have children, doesn't it excuse? But as I think as a man, it just stops working probably. I think as a man, I need to, we all the time, just a matter. - Oh yeah, that's partly a tablet, isn't it? - Yeah, probably doesn't help. I think I've always been a bit like that. I've always been a bit rubbish. - Yeah, you are annoying. - It's like Pringles. Yeah, once you pop, you can't stop. - Yeah, that is true. And the thing is, is that thing where you're out in public and you basically say to your family, does anyone need the Lou? But I'm actually really looking at Andrew. The kids are fine. They're absolutely fine. But I'm like, "Andre, have you really thought about this?" We're about to get on the M4. I don't want any of this stuff happening again. - So yeah, so we have the young, we do the we thing, right? So we do it so the younger, so you sit there, you're driving along the road, getting to the motorway. So we turn on to the M4, just before we go, does anybody need the toilet? No, no, no, turn on to the motorway. - I like the word "loos". - The loop, yes, I do. - I'm not a public convenience. - No, no, sorry, yes. - No one need the loop. - Yes. - No, we're fine, we're fine. Turn, as we're going down the ramp, I need a wee, and it's like, wait for the next services, it's gonna be 34 miles to the next junction of services. It's like, oh my God. So I, I, I was like, how badly do you need it? And you know when you're like, look at your child and they're going like, really red in the face and, and doing that funny little jig thing they do. The one that I do, basically, you know, like, when I'm coming back from Rick Steins, the one I do, that one, yeah. But I said, how badly do you need it? And she was, yeah, it's quite bad now. And I thought, oh my god. And then I look at the mileage and I look at, oh, this isn't gonna work out. So I dumped the water from a water bottle, a sports water bottle out the window and I go in for the catch. Don't know, I go in for it and it goes surprisingly well for the first 10 seconds and I think, oh my god, I'm pretty damn good at this. This is an rocking land Rover as well. I am all over this and then as soon as I had that cocky adult thought, of course I'm not all over it and it's all over me and all over the freaking land Rover. So we are now bathing in her wee, who is lovely. - Probably not safe. We maybe should have just pulled her on our children, but anyway. - Yeah, are you not to do that? - No, I'm not officially not, no. - No, I don't think the reason that your child needed the loo. - It was acceptable, no. - Anyway. - Anyway. But we's the thing that will come back to what me and us. - Oh God, I just feel like, yeah, between us we might have a working bladder. But the five of us separately are just utterly ridiculous. So have you found, so we've, we've, we go out, we don't go out a lot, right? We eat it mostly, but when we go out, we quite like glass beer, glass of wine, some nice food. But you've found like a common fault in the UK with the way they do white wine. Well, we haven't learned how to turn off fridges on. That's the common fault. Unbelievable. Like when you go abroad, I'm talking even France, they understand that you want a chilled glass of rose, a chilled white wine. In this country, they're like, "Ah, I think the fridge is there just for effect." That's really cute, isn't it? But I'll just get out this really warm bottle for you. and I'm going to pour it and wonder why you're giving me that challenging look. In fact, when we stayed at said preburene, which was very good, but I was like, "If I'm going to drink this rubbish rosé, I need to mask the flavour." And the only way to mask the flavour is to make it arctic. So I made you go and get a whole lot of ice. You did, yes, to put in it. And it was better. So it shows that there is a huge thing in that. And the other challenge with the, is you go in there and there's a nice list of wines? - Yeah. - And you go, "I'll have the peanut greasy." And they go, "Yeah, we don't have that one, sorry." - Yeah. - And we know, all we've got is this red. But it's nearly white. Is that any good? (laughing) - It's like, it's nearly white. It costs 350,000 pounds for a bottle. - Is that all right with you? Yeah, absolutely, why not? - Yeah. - Yes. - And then food on the menu, here's the menu, yes. But no, we don't have that one, don't have that one. - No, yeah. - Yeah, I don't know if it's a common thing. Now that's everywhere, I don't know, I don't know. It seems to be more common, doesn't it? Warm wine, unless you go to the warm wine, it's not more common. That is, that is a Britishism, right there. Oh, you can't escape that. No, no, no. But if this is a message to everybody from the tourism board of the UK, if you happen to really love warm wine, we are your country, join us. (laughing) And to all those people who sell, I just chilled the bucket thing. Oh, sorry, I smell like... I said I'm not gonna swear and he's the first one. I said for my rebellious shit. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. You swore, haha, you... I lose, yeah. So we were very generous on our trip as well this week. So we try and make the children think about value of money. So I gave them only because it's all I had. had five pound each for their. Yeah, it's all he had. Five pound each. So here you go, here's your pocket money. And then we went into town and they said, well, we're going to the toy shop. Is there any chance you can find anything in a toy shop for five pound? Not a open hell, right? Not a open hell. And it was one of the funniest things. And so then I had to up it slightly, because I could see that you were just going to dig your heels in and go, you find something for five pounds you get nothing. Where is I? No, they could keep the fiber. It wasn't going to give the money back. They could not spend it. Okay. Well, whatever. Because I'm a soft brush, I said, right, you can have eight pounds. Yeah. Even that was an absolute challenge, wasn't it? Yeah, I think you could have got the smallest Lego thing going and something else. But I think it's, you know what children are like in these shops. They get so overwhelmed. It's almost a bit cruel, isn't it? It's a bit like sending me into a winery. It's the same sort of thing. There is so much there that you want. You can have any wine you want. You've already got ten pounds. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Although going on the last conversation, you can't have any wine you want because these ones are included. I've not had one with that one. We've got a really warm greener green show. That's your thing. Oh yeah, I love it. Only twelve pounds. Oh, cool. - Wow, can I have two more pounds at here? - No darling, you spent your quota for this week. (laughing) Or ring me for an authorization. (laughing) - So I'm in a meeting. (laughing) Didn't get it, always it timed out. (laughing) - I'll marriage his frail. (laughing) But I'm the finnest I've ever been. (laughing) Yeah, so that was an interesting one. So then in the end, I think the elders didn't buy anything, did they? - No. - And the youngest brought this, oh, you know, the normal plastic rubbish thing. - Oh, I just... - I don't know what it was. - Plastic, but you know, they get excited and that's... - Yeah. - And I sat at the sat you didn't know, 'cause you were being like Mr. Grump. Are you were going, well, I mean, you don't have to spend it. And obviously, and you're like going off on like a real economics lecture, which you like to like pull out the bag at least once a week. And I was like, can you just let them have? You gave them five pounds, let them go around the store and have a bit of fun. When I realized you couldn't really have one of the five pounds, it became a bit more controversial. But I was like, you know, you just need to let them do their thing. - Yeah, and then you were affronted at the end with the parenting right now. I mean, some maths were going on in your eye. So then we gave them 15 pounds in cash and I think it's good to get children to practice going up to the lady at the till and anyway. So the lady at the till was going, "Okay, so that's come to, I can't even remember now." 13 pound, 98. 13 pound, 98. And you've given me 15 pounds. So how much will you get in return? nothing because already he's making me look like such an idiot. How much will you get to return to which this other woman, the left pipe, is up and she goes, "So if you've got 98p, how many pence are you off one pound?" And it's the way she said it that they may be thinking, "Wait a second, a sausage. I'm gonna do the parenting and the teaching here. I don't need you. Okay, children and she was she was adamant she was going to get involved and then eventually thank goodness on middle child's very good at mass and went to pee Is that right? I had to think about it I'm bad I'm bad I was like Then the lady goes okay, so you got your to pee and what how much more to you to which the children say One pound as I'm saying two pounds And then I think, "Oh, and I just made like I just went, "Oh, you see, every day is a learning time." (laughing) But I still, whether I can do maths or not, do you need not need someone else to parent for me? If I'm going to teach the rubbish maths, I will do it my way. (laughing) Yes. (triumphant music) So this is something that we find often with children, right? So we've got them in a habit, right? So they're getting towards, well, one of them's getting towards teenage. So they start to smell. So showers, morning and afternoon shower. They do is just, that's what happens, right? Um, I don't know if anybody else knows. - But I just don't just have that, they do smell when they're young as well. - I suppose, yeah. - Just different smell. - But wash your hair with soap, especially the youngest with conditioner. They can't do it. They're in the shower for how many hours? Right, we ask them. Quick shower, wash, half an hour later. Can you get out of the shower? Like have you finished yet? And they seem to come out and go, yeah I'm done. And then you go, when you still have the biggest clump of... - I can't say this though, out of a slight bit of jealousy that they've got hair to tap. - They've got hair to tap. - They've got hair to tap. (laughing) No. (laughing) because I imagine it comes off much more easily from skin. (laughing) - It shines nicely. (laughing) But yeah, they fail. I don't know why it is. - Well, other people have the same problem. - Well, yeah, right in letters now, but I can tell you why it is. They all think it's a spa day when they get in there. They just stand there. I don't know, especially the youngest. She definitely thinks it's a spa day. She's just like, oh, steam, it's lovely, it's lovely, it's opening up my paws and blah, blah, blah. But I didn't have to do anything. The younger, I think, sorry, the middle one is claustrophobic in this steam, which I understand 'cause I'm a bit like that. So he just like to actually get his head under the water. And then the eldest just doesn't believe that time takes on. - No, no, I, yeah, time's a whole other world. - Yeah, 'cause I say to him, I say to him, I say to him, you do know time just moves forward, right? So you've got into the shower 20 minutes ago and you're still in there and he just looks to me blankly like, oh, yeah. Anyway, I am so glad that you survived. - And me? - Well done, you. - Thank you very much. - Thank you very much. - Give my best regards to Victoria and your brutish man. - I don't think I will ever forget. You're not in a good way. - Look, I don't want details. Okay, I just want, you know, if you're going to do that, Let's have a bit of upfront honesty and get the children in a crash because I don't see why I should be doing with it Anyway, love to Victoria, love to your British man, love to you, love you too Love to all the view guys, love you very much and see you next time! Yeah, we'll see you next time, thank you! Bye! [Music]